Engage brain before opening mouth

Here are six reasons why you should think before you speak – The last one is great! Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take the words back… Or that you could crawl into a hole?

Here are the Testimonials of a few people who did….

FIRST TESTIMONY:

I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly,
‘How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?’
I turned around and walked back out and never went back
My husband didn’t say a word…
He knew better.

SECOND TESTIMONY:

I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls.
I was unhappy with the women’s type I had been using.
After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store..
He asked if he could help me.
Without thinking, I looked at him and said, ‘I think I like playing with men’s balls’

THIRD TESTIMONY:

My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a  variety of candy and nuts.
As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help.
I replied, ‘No, I’m just looking at your nuts.’
My sister started to laugh hysterically.
The boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away.
To this day,my sister has never let me forget.

FOURTH TESTIMONY:

Have you ever asked your child a question too many times?
My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on him constantly.
One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch, in between errands.
It was very busy, with a full dining room.
While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I checked my seven-month-old daughter, she was clean. Then I realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while.
I asked him if he needed to go, and he said ‘No’
I kept thinking ‘Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don’t have any clothes with me.’
Then I said,’Danny, are you SURE you didn’t have an accident?’
‘No,’ he replied.
I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse.
Soooooo, I asked one more time, ‘Danny did you have an accident ? This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over, spread his cheeks and yelled  
‘SEE MOM, IT’S JUST FARTS!!’
While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing, he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down.
An old couple made me feel better, thanking me for the best laugh they’d ever had!

LAST BUT NOT LEAST TESTIMONY:

This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think before she speaks.
What happens when you predict snow but don’t get any!
We had a female news anchor that, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn’t, turned to the weatherman and asked:
‘So Bob, where’s that 8 inches you promised me last night?’
Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard!

*sigh* Thank you Monday for visiting me… at last!

So much on my to do list, so much insanity not on it but appearing, sneaking around corners… barstewards.  It was one of the roughest weekends and I am so grateful it is Monday… yeah I never thought I’d ever say that either but I am eternally grateful!

This is a really boring post but just need to write…

Thursday was a great day but ended with Jude in insecurity heaven claiming (while holding me) that we are only doing this relationship thing for the kids then going on to ask me where we should live and talking like our relationship is real… ah *breathe* mixed signals are wonderful things but insecure men who are shit scared way more exciting.  I know he is shit scared because he has told me as such.

Friday I did the Easter Egg hunt, yes it was a bit early but there is a certain magic about realising that the bunny has been around, their little faces were so excited and it reminded them that there is still fun, that an exciting time is on its way… Easter of course.  All good until dinner time and Belle tells me that she enjoyed it but they didn’t stick to the plan.  I asked her to explain and she told me about a plan she and Littlefoot had but it didn’t happen (confused I was at this stage).  Littlefoot claimed she was lying (because it implicated him) and when I asked her if what she said was the truth she said no.

In this house we now have an immediate time out for lying because they have both been caught a few times.  Pure hysterics on her side to the point it was a floor tantrum… In between her screams and kicks Littlefoot called me back to the kitchen and told me that he actually lied and that Belle was telling the truth, that the plan was for them both to share their eggs so he helped eat all of hers then ate all of his by himself not sharing with her which was the plan.  This is his usual behaviour (well for the whole weekend and on and off in the past).

At that moment Jude walked in when I was contemplating what to do with mutual lies and talked it through with him – he flipped out and told me that I was stupid for doing the Easter egg hunt in the first place and implied that it was all my fault anyway.  We gave both kids time outs and he apologised *breathe*

Through it all Belle is sick, she hasn’t slept much for three nights now with coughing fits and snotty sniffs, she’s got the grumps poor thing. We haven’t slept for the same amount of time taking turns to feed medicine and blow noses, raise pillows and rub her back.

Saturday Jude spent in bed recharging his batteries, he was really low and needed a time out so the kids and I did chocolate lolly pops with sprinkles and all the fun stuff.  It was a relatively good day though Littlefoot was throwing up signs that it all wasn’t so good.  Aggressive verbally, pulling manipulations and trying to control everything, anything that was anyone else’s was suddenly his because he didn’t have it and if we didn’t allow him it was because we don’t love him, we love Belle more and it goes on and on and on and on…

Sunday I woke up in so much pain I couldn’t move, the spasms were so bad I actually pulled muscles, I could barely walk without holding on to walls and pain killers just weren’t helping. I spent the day in bed for most of it while Jude and the kids played outside/worked.  I crawled out in the afternoon when I heard the shouts and screams…

Littlefoot had tipped over the emotional iceberg or rather more aptly the volcano of all volcano’s.  Constant you hate me so I hate you, pushing boundaries, direct fuck you actions, physically hurting Belle and being verbally aggressive.  He lost it, got a his consequence and then came back for more – no matter the consequence.

This poor little guy has so much anger in him that he needs to get out, I’ve never seen him like I did yesterday.  His face was verging on evil, the look chilled my heart and soul, it did for all of us.

Jude and I had a long chat today and as far as all the specialists are concerned how we are handling it is the right way.  What we tell him and how we treat him is apparently exactly what we should do…

The saddest part is I know what he is feeling and I know how confused he is, I understand.  I am finding myself doing things that no one did for me, it brings it all back but puts it all into perspective.  I understand more of the kid I was now than ever before, more of what I lost through his loss, what he needs now and what I need as the adult I am typing all of this out.

So the Puppet Master is a funny thing, I am now studying psychological journals and advice on dealing with low self esteem, low self confidence and negative belief systems.  I am studying so that I can help this little guy but through doing it I am helping myself. 

Ah that Puppet Master is so friggin funny I could sometimes strangle him but he laughs and gently pushes me back into the learning game of life.  I’m going to give Littlefoot the tools that I never had growing up and I am going to give myself the same.

Thank you Monday, for the first time I actually love you!

Told you it was boring…